Lost in Promise's Land

I haven't been here for quite a time but so much has been happening. Joe and I have been travelling, then he got real sick and, being a man, he doesn't do anything about it until his body made him stop. I sure hope he's learnt his lesson now. Fortunately he is ok, not fully back to normal but getting there.

I am still doing the same old, same old , battling ill health and depression. Neither of which I am going to let win. You have to fight to win here.

I have an internet friend who has accepted Joe and I for friends without judging us for being Wiccan. This, let me tell you, is a rare thing for us. It's awesome.

MIA

I am so bad. I should have been blogging and getting caught up with things.  Life has kinda got in the way.  I will come back, very soon !

How do you explain this without sounding weird?

OK, some strange things have been happening around here. I am thinking my apartment is haunted. Seriously!

Joe and I are really wondering how we explain some of our beliefs to people. It can be so hard to get people to understand what we believe in. They like to throw verbal stones at us. Holding different views isn't allowed and it looks like it has cost Joe a friend. He's real sad about it but says he had to be honest. Joe has always supported his friend's right to hold his religion, LDS, but the friend can't reciprocate this for Joe.

Really Lost the Plot

I am having one of those times in my life where I don't know exactly where I am heading, nor even why.  When Joe tells me I have lost the plot, he isn't kidding. I go up and down like a child's yo yo.  I believe I know and understand my path in life but why do other people, who are only on the fringes of my life, think they know better.  Well meaning of them, I am sure, but they don't walk the same pathways, they don't wear the same shoes. 


See, I have contradicted myself.  In one sentence I say I am lost, in another I know where I am heading.  I lost the plot :-). Back to the drawing board of life.

Choices

It has been a long time since I was here and I am sorry for that. Life just gets in the way.

I have been going up and down with ill health and depression then all the other trash that has been happening in my life. I am often surprized I am still here, still battling onward.

Spiritually, it has been an interesting journey. I think I am accepting more and more that I am following a certain pathway and making progress with it,

I am still facing the change of direction, employmentwise and this is causing me much heartache as it is a job I love so much and one I was born to do. I can not see my life without this work as part of my life. I am trying to face it but very unsuccessfully so far. I am talking with a psychologist but I find myself resenting the intrusion into my life. The questions about things I don't feel are relevant to the problem. And why do they think dragging up the past is going to somehow miraculously solve the problems. The problem is that ill health and pain are making my job increasingly difficult but I still need to work, still need to make a living. I just can't give it up and walk away from it. And I don't want to leave a job I adore to do a job I will hate and to do that job until I retire. What joy is there in that? It would only make my life worse.

I just wish I could find a doctor who can fix my body instead of passing me from one specialist to another. I have seen so many 'experts' yet nothing has improved and I am just made to feel that I should just accept it. Why? It isn't as if it is something there is no cure for.

Maybe those questions will remain unanswered, the problem unresolved.

Lost Time

I have lost so much time lately. Needing to come here and yet not able to be here and blog. So much happening in my life. It is so hard to be a 'Sensitive'. I prefer that term rather than medium. It bothers people to think you connect to the dead but then I don't believe they are dead. When our loved ones die, they pass into spirit, they live on. After all, didn't Heavenly father tell us life was eternal? But how can lightening the burden of the bereaved be so bad when we can give them proof their loved ones are still with them, still watching over them?

So much has been happening, some good, some not so good. It feels like I have been swimming against the tide and not always very successfully. I shall write more about that at a later time, now is not the right moment.

This is a beautiful country. I sit and watch the ocean nearly every day and it is so awesome to watch this creation, Mother earth. She needs to be protected and nurtured. I feel we are slowly destroying her beauty with our careless ways.

Naughty Girl :-)

Time keeps getting away from me and I forget to come here to blog.

Been a bit of a rough road of late with the depression and health problems knocking at my door. Spiritually my development has cruised along steadily and I have been doing more and more Angel Card reading s for people from several countries. Their feedback has been very encouraging.

I Promise ( sorry for the pun) to do better in the future.

So much happening

So much has been happening to me that to come here to post was completely beyond me. I ended up feeling very low, the depression really just beat me down but know I am getting well again, able to fight back. I still am facing the health problems that are slowly robbing me of my ability to my job, the one I love so much. Maybe something new will come for me. I shall ask the Divine and wait to see what doors will open for me.

Spiritually I am moving forward at a good pace. I still do angel card readings for those who ask and I am always delighted when people tell me how accurate they prove to be. Evidence that the Divine is guiding me. I still work with Spirit but not sure that , as a 'Sensitive', I prefer that term to that of medium, I want to go on platform. Every reading I have tells me it is what I am meant to do but I still feel my path lies elsewhere. Maybe spirit is right and I am supposed to use my gifts that way but for me the healing draws me more.

Oh, what a life!

Oh, what a life. I seem to lurch from one set of problems to another. Spiritually I am developing well my teachers tell me. My angel card readings continue to be accurate as is my pendulum work. I , so I am told, have a special talent for holding objects and picking up things about their owners from the object. And no, I was not told who owned what. It was a 'blind' test so to speak. I have done some clairvoyance too. This is limited but, so I am told, was accurate. Heavenly Father sure has given me some unusual gifts.

I have been so bad at blogging recently. I mean to but somehow life gets in the way. And so does the depression. I will win through though.

These past few months

It has been a very intense few months. So much has happened. I have come through another bout of depression, a really deep one. But I have come through it. My blog has been neglected as a result but now I am up on my feet again and hope I stay that way.

An more is learnt in circle

I learn more and more as I sit in Circle. And I have become hungry! The more I learn, the more I want to know. There is so much out there that I would love to have the answers to.

After the prayers that start our journey together, we do meditiation. I thought I would never let my mind quieten enough to do this but I am getting so much better . In my last meditation, my darling love came to me and I could see him so clearly, hear his voice and feel his touch. He was so real. It was wonderful to talk to him. He told me he had the answers I was searching for , all of them. He also told me that I needed to find them for myself and that I would be guided, to trust my guide and my angels. Then he smiled and was gone. I miss him so much from my life but know he is safe and happy where he is and, when Heavenly Father wills it, we will be together once more.

There was much talk of the gifts Heavenly Father has given us and their correct use. That we must work on the Spiritual laws. The last one, of unconditional love, will be the hardest to follow. In my next post I shall list the laws and say which ones I am working on , then I can post my successes and failures.

Be Blessed.

Depression is just the pits

I am through the worst now but depression is just the pits. One moment you are in sunshine and next you feel like all the happiness has been sucked out of your life. My friends say it is because I take on everyone else's problems but they don't understand that it is because I choose to. Why should I ignore another persons pain when just a few words of comfort can lighten their load. I think we will never agree on what I believe.

I sat in Circle

I have been invited to join a spiritual development circle and I went on Wednesday. I had sat a few times in Circle as a guest but never to take part. This was quite an experience. After prayers and meditation , we all sat in silence and tried to contact our guides. Several of the group managed to channel their guides through. I didn't believe what happened. I was sitting there thinking yeah, right as the guides came through then I started noticing the face of the woman bringing hers through. Her whole face altered, one side drooped like she had had a stroke, it was weird.

We then talked about the Spiritual laws. They really took my attention. If we all followed them then the world really would be a wonderful place to live. I shall post them separately at some point.

Circle closed with another short meditation and prayer and we all parted feeling at peace.

Circle Time

I have started my Reiki Two and will finish this Sunday. During my first attunement (my Reiki Master always does two because she was given two) I had a wonderful experience. As I was sitting in meditation I saw a pair of really beautiful eyes looking at me. When the attunement was over my Reiki master asked how I felt and I told her of the enormous sense of peace that filled me and also that I saw these eyes. She tells me that my 'third' eye had fully opened and that I would now be able to use my gift of 'knowing' with more consistency and skill. She says that now is the time for me to connect with my guides and to sit in circle so my skills will be developed. I am excited, I am scared, I am honored.

RM is encouraging me to progress with my healing skills as well. I know I have this deep need and desire to help others through my work but I am also cognisant of the fact that having ones help sought is a great privilege. That other people trust me enough to let me into areas of their lives that are sensitive and very private is a great responsibility and not to be taken lightly. I want so much for them to heal.

Is all this the change that is ahead for me? I am so frightened of change. In a way I want it , seek it even but there is that part of me that holds back. I am still pushing my health to do this job that I have always done for so many years. It is something in me, in my soul, that I don't know how I can continue if this area of my life has to belong in the past as it surely must one day. The day gets ever closer. But the other direction is also part of my life and has been for the last six or so years. Do I take the plunge and go for it? Or do I wait and see. Maybe this I will hand over to my angels and see what happens. Angel synchronicity is perhaps the best and the safest path to follow.

Living in the 'Now'

I have been putting a great deal of thought into this idea of the 'now'. We spend so much time worrying about what might happen in the future or fretting over what happened in the past, that we forget to live now. We burden ourselves so unnecessarily when you think about it. Worry is a waste of energy. We can not alter some things in life but we worry about it. It is a very pointless exercise because all that worry and still nothing changes except we have made ourselves even more stressed and possibly ill through doing so. And worrying over the past. What has happened can not be undone yet we still worry about it. We torture ourselves in so many different ways.

How many beautiful sunsets have we missed because our thoughts are distracted ? How many smiles have we only vaguely acknowledged because our minds are busy worrying about what we will cook for dinner tomorrow ? We spend so much time worrying, judging ourselves, letting our imaginations run riot until we get no peace even in sleep. Maybe we should just live in the 'now' and deal with life as it comes. Life is for living , not for worrying every second of it away.

Today is the day you worried about yesterday. Tomorrow becomes today and today becomes the past.

"Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream."
Kahlil Gibran

Be Blessed

Spirit Says....

Had another meeting at my spiritual group last night and was very fortunate to get a message from Spirit. Again I was told of the addition to the family and that it would be a boy. Very correct. Also that I was going to be taking a long journey and would connect with family. That I am well and truly on the right spiritual path but I must be patient. I am so eager to learn but it won't happen all at once for me. Spirit is also pushing the fact I need to progress with my healing work. The date is set for my Reiki 2 and I continue to work as a counsellor.

I have had some very 'random' things happening lately but then , nothing in Heaven is random 8-). I all of a sudden connected with a medium who had done the reading for me that set me on this path. FB has a lot to answer for. Her name appeared as being a mutual friend but when I checked, this is not so. Heaven is at work.

Be Blessed.

Is 'Knowing' going to be enough?

My mind is exhausted. I have been struggling with so many thoughts rushing through my mind. Which path do I follow? I am beginning preparation for my next Reiki attunement. Definitely this is part of the journey for the spiritual people I come in contact with have all said they can feel the waves of healing coming from me. That they see it in my aura. I am looking forward to Reiki two as I shall then be able to do distance healing for those who want it.

There has been as rush of requests for Angel cards readings, something I always enjoy but now someone has asked something else of me and I am not sure my skills are developed enough for fulfilling their request. I have 'knowing' but it is yet so random or comes through the angel cards but this will be a whole new journey.

May your angels watch over you. Call upon Archangel Michael for protection and for your healing ask the help of Archangel Raphael. And always ask your own Angel for help, nothing delights them more than to smooth your path where they can and to guide you as you learn the lessons of life that have been chosen for you, by you. Be Blessed.

I wish

I wish my life would run smoothly but it never does. It gets interesting though. I went to a meeting of Spiritualists and whilst I was there I was given a message from Spirit. The medium said he asked Spirit who they were and got told to mind his own business cos the message wasn't for him! It had the effect of making everyone in the room laugh which lightened the atmosphere.
The strange thing, the really weird thing, was how accurate the message was. I was told four will become five. (Next day I heard there is a baby coming to the family). Then I was told that the problems I was facing would get worse, they did, and that I was banging my head upside a stone wall. I feel that way a whole lot lately. But things will get better. The medium also told me about my ring and locket. It was strange . It was accurate, I was told other things but I will need to see if they happen in the time frame I was given.

Watch this space. :-)

Busy but confused

Been very busy doing angel card readings and dreams for people. It is either feast or famine. I go for weeks with no requests then bang......the whole world seems to want to know what their angels are telling them or why they dream a particular dream. It keeps me off the streets :-)

So much has been happening in my own life lately too. I never seem to have enough hours in the day. Rush, rush from one crisis to the next right now.

I shall go off and look at other people's blogs. They are all far more interesting than mine. I wonder, any other empaths out there ?