Lost in Promise's Land

I haven't been here for quite a time but so much has been happening. Joe and I have been travelling, then he got real sick and, being a man, he doesn't do anything about it until his body made him stop. I sure hope he's learnt his lesson now. Fortunately he is ok, not fully back to normal but getting there.

I am still doing the same old, same old , battling ill health and depression. Neither of which I am going to let win. You have to fight to win here.

I have an internet friend who has accepted Joe and I for friends without judging us for being Wiccan. This, let me tell you, is a rare thing for us. It's awesome.

MIA

I am so bad. I should have been blogging and getting caught up with things.  Life has kinda got in the way.  I will come back, very soon !

How do you explain this without sounding weird?

OK, some strange things have been happening around here. I am thinking my apartment is haunted. Seriously!

Joe and I are really wondering how we explain some of our beliefs to people. It can be so hard to get people to understand what we believe in. They like to throw verbal stones at us. Holding different views isn't allowed and it looks like it has cost Joe a friend. He's real sad about it but says he had to be honest. Joe has always supported his friend's right to hold his religion, LDS, but the friend can't reciprocate this for Joe.

Really Lost the Plot

I am having one of those times in my life where I don't know exactly where I am heading, nor even why.  When Joe tells me I have lost the plot, he isn't kidding. I go up and down like a child's yo yo.  I believe I know and understand my path in life but why do other people, who are only on the fringes of my life, think they know better.  Well meaning of them, I am sure, but they don't walk the same pathways, they don't wear the same shoes. 


See, I have contradicted myself.  In one sentence I say I am lost, in another I know where I am heading.  I lost the plot :-). Back to the drawing board of life.

Choices

It has been a long time since I was here and I am sorry for that. Life just gets in the way.

I have been going up and down with ill health and depression then all the other trash that has been happening in my life. I am often surprized I am still here, still battling onward.

Spiritually, it has been an interesting journey. I think I am accepting more and more that I am following a certain pathway and making progress with it,

I am still facing the change of direction, employmentwise and this is causing me much heartache as it is a job I love so much and one I was born to do. I can not see my life without this work as part of my life. I am trying to face it but very unsuccessfully so far. I am talking with a psychologist but I find myself resenting the intrusion into my life. The questions about things I don't feel are relevant to the problem. And why do they think dragging up the past is going to somehow miraculously solve the problems. The problem is that ill health and pain are making my job increasingly difficult but I still need to work, still need to make a living. I just can't give it up and walk away from it. And I don't want to leave a job I adore to do a job I will hate and to do that job until I retire. What joy is there in that? It would only make my life worse.

I just wish I could find a doctor who can fix my body instead of passing me from one specialist to another. I have seen so many 'experts' yet nothing has improved and I am just made to feel that I should just accept it. Why? It isn't as if it is something there is no cure for.

Maybe those questions will remain unanswered, the problem unresolved.

Lost Time

I have lost so much time lately. Needing to come here and yet not able to be here and blog. So much happening in my life. It is so hard to be a 'Sensitive'. I prefer that term rather than medium. It bothers people to think you connect to the dead but then I don't believe they are dead. When our loved ones die, they pass into spirit, they live on. After all, didn't Heavenly father tell us life was eternal? But how can lightening the burden of the bereaved be so bad when we can give them proof their loved ones are still with them, still watching over them?

So much has been happening, some good, some not so good. It feels like I have been swimming against the tide and not always very successfully. I shall write more about that at a later time, now is not the right moment.

This is a beautiful country. I sit and watch the ocean nearly every day and it is so awesome to watch this creation, Mother earth. She needs to be protected and nurtured. I feel we are slowly destroying her beauty with our careless ways.